Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Fire!

Guess what guys, our house just burned. You might have probably seen it in the news last saturday... So I have A LOT to do right now. Oh my..

I though I was going to loose all my stuff. While standing in front of the burning house and seeing the flames coming out of the window we all thought the same thing: "Well, at least I can start from the clean table". That is probably the first thing that pops out in anybody's head when things like this happen. And like one member of our little community said: "Fire might be destructive but it's also purifying.."

So the upstairs burned pretty badly and downstairs was a one big swimming pool. My room was upstairs and I woke up only to see the door next to my room on flames. I did not have the time to save my stuff and accidentally also left the door open.. But the flames didn't touch my room. Everything there's okay (thank Goddess). However they ate the room on the right side..

The fire reminded me of an early childhood fobia. As a child I had this fear of waking up in the middle of the flames and to be burned death. I was extremely sensitive to this subject. If I heard there had been a fire somewhere (for example from the TV) I started feeling really distressed. I remember, when I was like five or something, everytime I went to bed I used to say to myself "I hope we wont burn, I hope we won't burn" or something like that as if I could prevent the house from burning that way. This fobia got easier when I grew but I still reacted to things like that pretty strongly when still in elementary school. I remember I once saw a dog encircled by flames on TV. The dog was rescued but I remember how incredibly awfull I felt, I was shaking and (probably) white as a ghost. I never reacted to any other things like that.

But this all got easier with age and even forgot all about it. Nowadays I don't react to news that tell from burning anymore. Our Villa had no fire alarms (apparently) and I once thought that at least I have stepladders under my window if the house would burn...

So when I saw the smoke and the flames my very first thought was "Hell no..This is it..". One boy/man who also lived with us had this most amazingly strong De ja vu when he saw the flames.

And now I have to move again. We all have to.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

My Magical Studies

.. Oh I have so much to study! I just started the book Modern Magick. Picture below.


And above all that I have the university exams. The book contains eleven lessons og magick and assigments. I just have completed the lesson one and moving on to lesson two where I'll be studying the kabbalah and the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. The ritual seems so complicated!

The lesson one contains an relaxation ritual and a tarot ritual. So it goes like this; First you relax yourself by vizualizing a golden ebergyball coming up from your feet going through your whole body relaxing every muscle it touches. Before this you have to have the mager arcanas of the tarot on front of you (exepct the cards moon, devil, chariot, lovers, death and wheel of fortune). The rest of the arcanas are mixed now. Then only one card is taken from the pack.

I happens, that I have had the card Strength coming out for three times now. This probably means something. www.tarotteachings.com says the following:

When we pull the Strength card it is certainly a message that strength is required for some challenges ahead. It's also a sign that we absolutely have the strength that is required of us. But on a subtle level, this card is a signal that we are already complete and self-love is the key to meeting our needs.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Have A Happy Esbat!


Have a nice fullmoon night folks! I'm lucky to be able to see the moon through my window shining down into my room. :) I was at work last night but still decided to do a little ritual. I had to, the moon was so beautifull.

I already have told you that my chakras have been openening themselves since last summer. Nothing much has come from it by this far, except that I fysically feel energies in places such as metro, train, tram or even busses. Very much in places with a lot of electricity. Especially metros. Mostly it feels like sparks coming up my legs. It might tickle. But last summer when it started it was like crazy. I felt sparks and those that I call "erruptions" almost all the time, everywhere in my body. And the crown chakra tickled a lot. There was also this third energy thing that I call "worms" 'cause it feels like worms are climing up your leg under your skin.

But now it's much better. I sleep better, thank goddess.  I still occasionally feel this "churr" on top of my head (which I guess, has to do with my crown chakra). And, well, the sparks in places with a lot of electricity. Mostly during waxing moon, I feel a bit more sparks and not just in metros or busses but everywhere and even in some other parts of my body than just legs. That's when I know the moon is waxing again without seeing it or looking at the calendar.

But the most funniest thing is that, the energy is at it's strongest when the moon is half full and half dark. Not when it's completely full. I don't know why. But this I have noticed. I have many times thought it's fullmoon already, when the energy is running wild in my body but as I have checked this, it has only been half way full. *confusion*

But now I'm hungry.. Gonna go eating.. :)

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Past life regression attempt

I attempted a past life regression again with the help of Youtube. It was a good regression record but the fact that Youtube keeps on stopping and loading every once in a while... that disturbed me to some degree. BUT I got something - was it my imagination or real, I'm not sure, I didn't actually see so clearly but the therapist asked some questions that helped. I seemed to be very sure about my name though, which was Isabelle. I've had this name come to me before in this same regression, but last time the story of my life was pretty much imagination (such a cliche). Of that I'm sure. It didn't feel like it, real I mean. I did this back in 2007 or 2008.

It's my favorite regression and made me relax quite well.. So the therapist was asking question like "What year is it, where are you, have you any family etc..". I got the year 1847, that was the first one to pop into my mind when asked. For the place I got Southern France but then again I'm not sure.. Isabelle was a serious, blond haired(I looked into the mirror to see myself only with one exeption; blond hair) girl. She worked in a grocery shop. Metal cans somehow popped into my mind.. Isabelle herself didn't like to talk much about herself, especially when asked something she would answer very shortly with only one word if possible. When I was asked if I had family I had this feeling like I didn't have any. Absolutely nobody. And she/I didn't seem to be sad about this (however she wasn't happy either), she had more like accepted this fact, that she'd be on her own. She used to have this a bit of a wary look in her eyes. As if she was waiting for questions to be asked from her. Some gentlemen who visited the store, found her very fascinating because of this (her quietness about herself), she however didn't like to be asked questions about herself.

I have this somewhat "funny" scene in my head about Isabelle and dark haired boy who obviously was interested in the girl. And Isabelle, and the look her face when the boy steps into the store! Isabelle knows there's gonna be questions again but she can't really stop them from coming.. oh the look on her face is priceless. ;D

Even though Isabelle's nature is very different from mine I do recognize myself in her. I do avoid questions that I consider too personal. In fact it is very difficult for me to speak about myself. Unless I'm asked, and then and only then I can give you answers but, like Isabelle, my answer is very short and leaves the asker often to feel unsatisfied and want to know more. Some more sensitive people however leave the subject as they sense my self-consciousness.

I had a feeling like Isabelle was an orphan, but I don't know who did she manage to avoid the prostitution and end up in store..?

Thursday, 5 May 2011

I Love Money Spells

I just recieved a letter yesterday from KELA and found out that they will give me 157 euros for housing benefit... The best thing here is, I haven't applied for housing benefit. :D I visited KELA some time ago and they said that my income is way too over the limit so that they could not give me any money plus, I didn't have all the papers required, so they sent me home and told me to come back later. But it seems that  my so called application still pulled it through. Even though it was not supposted to go to the processing...

I then decided to leave the whole thing, since it's too much paperwork. And my rent is not so expensive after all.. But this money is ofcourse wellcome. :D I don't remember when was the last time I did a money spell (maybe like two weeks ago). But this gotta be something that only a spell could do, we all now how tricky and resistant KELA is when it comes to money. And this happened without me having to do basically anything..