Guess what guys, our house just burned. You might have probably seen it in the news last saturday... So I have A LOT to do right now. Oh my..
I though I was going to loose all my stuff. While standing in front of the burning house and seeing the flames coming out of the window we all thought the same thing: "Well, at least I can start from the clean table". That is probably the first thing that pops out in anybody's head when things like this happen. And like one member of our little community said: "Fire might be destructive but it's also purifying.."
So the upstairs burned pretty badly and downstairs was a one big swimming pool. My room was upstairs and I woke up only to see the door next to my room on flames. I did not have the time to save my stuff and accidentally also left the door open.. But the flames didn't touch my room. Everything there's okay (thank Goddess). However they ate the room on the right side..
The fire reminded me of an early childhood fobia. As a child I had this fear of waking up in the middle of the flames and to be burned death. I was extremely sensitive to this subject. If I heard there had been a fire somewhere (for example from the TV) I started feeling really distressed. I remember, when I was like five or something, everytime I went to bed I used to say to myself "I hope we wont burn, I hope we won't burn" or something like that as if I could prevent the house from burning that way. This fobia got easier when I grew but I still reacted to things like that pretty strongly when still in elementary school. I remember I once saw a dog encircled by flames on TV. The dog was rescued but I remember how incredibly awfull I felt, I was shaking and (probably) white as a ghost. I never reacted to any other things like that.
But this all got easier with age and even forgot all about it. Nowadays I don't react to news that tell from burning anymore. Our Villa had no fire alarms (apparently) and I once thought that at least I have stepladders under my window if the house would burn...
So when I saw the smoke and the flames my very first thought was "Hell no..This is it..". One boy/man who also lived with us had this most amazingly strong De ja vu when he saw the flames.
And now I have to move again. We all have to.